Keep Going…

Some days I wish someone else could wear this head…just so that THEY could try to describe it for me, and I could have a break from trying.

Some days I wish the story of my injury matched the impact that it has had on mine and my family’s life.

Some days I would like to explain that YES I can have a perfectly normal conversation with someone in the mall, but if I talk too long, or if it’s too noisy, or busy, or bright I will be tired for DAYS!

For shizzle I can go to the park with my kids! But I can’t go to a concert with my husband, or pack a lunch while someone is trying to talk to me, or read a book!

I would like to be able to say ”I’m great” and have people know that is not synonymous with ”all better”. “I’m great” means I am choosing to focus on the positive and stay hopeful. “All better” would mean the ability to process information in a reliable and consistent manner without fatigue or confusion.

I would be SO happy if I never in my life, ever again, had to justify to someone that what is happening with me is the result of a physical injury and not mental health. Though it most certainly has affected my mental health.Because it sucks to have to work so hard at what never used to feel like effort at all.

I would like to feel less lonely and isolated in the experience of living with a brain that betrays me.  Or maybe, I would like to be able to let go of my ego and just accept that I am not who I was. Best of all I would like a looking glass to see the what the future holds!! 

Perhaps these are wasted wishes.
Instead I will hold tightly to what I know in my heart is true. 

Healing comes, change is good.  If I choose to prosper I will. 

For the moment I will simplify my wishes.

A bowl of ice cream – a good sleep .

I will wake up tomorrow with the will and the strength to KEEP GOING.

THAT I have, That I can do!!!

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